tea and a downpour

About 15 of us were enjoying our tea, during a break from long hours of studying. The past 10 days or so have been spent on listening to discourses and discussions on epistemology, among other things. It has been taxing, not just to the mind, but also to the body because of lack of sleep – indeed, most nights were spent in completing assignments or reading related texts that we were supposed to.

As I sat smoking and noticing the fact that the smoke seemed dense, I realized that it was cloudy and very still. In an instant, it started raining. And it rained hard. On impulse, I ran into my living quarter, took my shirt off and sat in the open, soaking in the rain. Some others tried persuading me to come back to the discourse as the break had ended, but for some reason, I just did not feel like moving. For the next half hour or so, I simply sat there, feeling the drops of rain fall hard on my face.

“I can only hope that is so”, I had told her a few days ago.

Hope is a strange human conception. For the poorest man, it is the hope of a better life that provides the drive to exist. For one who has constantly been starved of love, a yearning for the very same thing and in that sense, a certain hope is what could, if at all, hold his mind together. To the ones who are disturbed, in one way or the other by the current state of affairs in our society – and I think any ‘educated’ and rational human being would indeed be disturbed – it is a certain mental image of a better society, and in that sense again hope, that would in all probability spurn them towards working for change.

Yet, I choose to call it strange, for I see an element of irony here. It is by the very same act of hoping, that we also place ourselves at the risk – of our hopes being shattered and hence of facing eventual disappointment. In a way, it seems that hope belongs to the future, and inevitably displaces our existence from the present.

In that brief time that I spent sitting quietly and along in the pouring rain, I was grateful for attempting to just ‘be’, however fleetingly, in that moment.


30 thoughts on “tea and a downpour

  1. Hope.. combined with trust .. can work wonders DB. ! 🙂 The problem with us adults is that , we tend to lose trust easily. Your hope brings as much result as you have trust in it.

  2. Hope – for some could be an ongoing prayer of a sort. So it need not displace oneself from the present. Rather it spurn them towards working for change – in your own words. How to face the outcome is upto oneself.p.s. yes! finally the barsaat-ka-mausam is here. whatay weather – aahha haa

  3. hope and expectation seem synonymous. but u guess hope is a positive connotation whereas expectation could be negative, in this sense…'hope' may still mean that you are ready to accept what comes your way while 'expectation' may mean that you want something and only that thing to happen.

  4. The only hope I maintain is for my peace of mind. I guess that is what one would do in times of turbulence so as to change the internal space and maintain a good external environ.

  5. Hope seems inherent in humankind. Perhaps we start out with it and it runs its course in each of us. Maybe at first, hoping is as magical wishing, then maybe it’s what keeps us alive, and finally maybe it’s the accumulative dashing of hopes—like a hard rain pummeling our faces—that brings us around to hopelessness, to where there’s nothing but us sitting in our bodies. And maybe it’s there that we search for and see who we really are… If that is our destiny this time around… Haha, yes, always the big If!Ah, well, Dharmabum, I enjoyed this so much, enjoyed the awareness within it that spoke to the part of me that is awareness. That the monkey mind jumped in is no thing. It does what it wants. Sometimes it shakes me, other times it doesn’t. And after reading and pondering your thoughts here, I was able just to watch it do its thing : )

  6. Hallelujah! A post at almighty last! All your readers hope for is a post to live vibrant life vicariously through you D'bum! Keep rocking brother!

  7. it is my *hope* that both of us remain not so much strangers from the blogosphere. that i can write more and that you write more because everything you write staggers me with its beauty and insight. wow. just a few days ago it was raining in new york and i did not desire my umbrella, i love that feeling too…Novel

  8. VEENA,i wonder if they are different to us all. sometimes, it is just a play of words methink.SANTOSH,an ongoing prayer, for what, is the question? if the prayer is for nothing but the sake of it, it would possibly center us, as you have mentioned. i doubt if it happens in practice though :)UNPRET,the connotations are what we have come to attach to them. singularly speaking, it all seems the same to me, at one level.SHINI,amen to that!MISSALISTER,the most wonderful description of hope you have painted here, in your own style. i guess it is hard wired, in its first existence as also in a certain evolution of its quality / intensity.it is nice to connect with you through this world of thoughts, missA. thanks for being here :)GAURIJI,:)JOLLYGABRIEL,what would you construe to be the difference, i wonder?ANIL,:)ZEUS,it is an honour, if i am able to paint such a picture of life :)NOVEL,thank you kindly!I WONDER HOW TO CALL YOU WRITER,i wish you said somethin in english, as i am unable to read what you've written and can only hope this isn't spam :PGAURI,thanks 🙂

  9. Wonderfully written. Yeah, I too feel it’s ironic. But what’s life without hope :)keep writing. will come back for more.And thanks for your comment on my blog 😀

  10. hey ya DB, hope you are well. I see that you are taking yet another long hiatus from blogging – work's keeping u busy?? Hope to read more soon = ) We just got back from our 3 weeks vacation in Asia, the heat is still too much to take ; )

  11. Whenever I come to visit you with something at the back of my mind, you tend to be talking about it on your most current post.I think hope is the light at the end of the tunnel; when you believe you're losing everything; when promise starts to fail; and when all else goes out of your hands. The only thing that still remains is hope. And when it works, you'll be glad you hoped for it.I hope, for your sake, that all is well. 🙂

  12. I think the bum has been unfair, though he has been under stress with too many things happening. However, I take the liberty of letting his blog friends know the bum is engaged and we are all happy. Please wait for more from the bum and the fiancee's photo.

  13. VEENA,i wonder what made you think so!SHRUTHI,glad you keep coming back :)IWOBM,woah! good to see you here. i get to do somethings i want to, others i don't, such is life :)KUSUBLAKKI,i have read it, and if i remember it now, i certainly did like it :)WORKHARD,:) thanks!SINDHU,long long time. doing good. and you?ANON,keep trying. have posted :)GAURI,thanks! to you too (however belated :PMUSH,glad to hear you had a vacation. take care :)MISS IYER,sometimes, it is not just a coincidence, or so i believe. all is well, yes. and i hope so for you too.oh, and btw, this was in jaipur. though i don't think the monsoon as failed. delayed, perhaps?APPA,thanks :)VEENA, IYER, SHRUTHI, KUSUBLAKKI,thanks 🙂

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