the gift

it was getting late. the bottles had almost been emptied, and the guests had settled comfortably in their places, with random conversations flowing. since we were finding it hard to actually make a sane conversation involving all 5 of us, we decided to play a game where one person asks a question, and each member has to take turns to answer it.

“when was the last time you loved yourself?”
“i don’t think i ever did, and if i did, it was probably so long ago that i don’t remember now”

“what is the one thing you like about yourself?”
“the madness”

i found myself drifting away, at one level, and at another, i found myself making a concerted effort to remain civil and participate in the conversation. i left the room for a smoke, and on impulse, i picked up a notebook, and decided to write. really write, for a change, rather than employing the set of keys and going tap-tap-tap.
i was pleasantly surprised, for the purple pen that i thought i had lost, i was now holding in my hand, and writing with it too. it seemed to have found me, just the way it had first found me, and then i had lost sight of it for a while.
she had given it to me. she said she had known me as a little boy, and was quite surprised to meet me after a decade, may be more. sometimes, people tend to forget that everybody grows old, including kids. the truth be told, i had sought the purple pen from her, on impulse, when she offered me a nice looking metallic pen as a parting gift, from her bag. it looked like she was preparing to leave, when father had called out for me to meet to her. she had spontaneously opened her bag, and picked up the pen from within, as if her bag was a treasure trove of those little things, just to be given away to the people she might have bumped across.
i reached across, to receive the purple pen that was hers, that i had wanted, instead of the gift she had intended to give me. she handed it to me, and then gave me a hug. her tiny gait was almost covered by me, though i am no big guy myself.
i have always considered it a privilege to give, no matter what and how much you have, but to give it like you’re giving away all you had. indeed, such givers as this lady, would give all they had, if it came to that. something about her told me that.
i received the gift, and the hug a little tentatively, feeling smaller than i usually do, and thanked her, as i felt a ghost of a smile pass by my lips. a genuine one.


21 thoughts on “the gift

  1. there’s nothing like a soft, introspective post to start the new year.i re-read your post a couple of times and have decided you can be invited to a party :)wherever and whenever that is. may this year be full of such gifts. and treasure trove of pens and memories.

  2. Shini’s right. It’s always a pleasure to come here and see how you put things. Little, if anything, escapes your observation and the resulting studies are real, palpable, haunted as they are by your wistful spirit always looking for the answer to its eternal question. Your writing resonates with that same place in me and others. And the purple pen is our pen. We remember the blessing of receiving it, and we lose it and find it over and over 🙂

  3. PHISH,the gift of an invitation, too – the bum is honoured, and shall graciously accept – wherever and whenever it is.may you have a wonderful year ahead.MANASA,:)D,is it then indicative of the head that is muddled with many things at the same time !! thanks :)SHINI,thank YOU – thats a honour!UNPRETENTIOUS,thank you – i just let the words flow…:)MISSALISTER,you have a way with words, and are a generous soul – a unique combination, if you ask me. yes, i would be glad to think that what i write here resonates with people – for i am you, am i not?thank you for being here, and brightening things up :)XH,a new year resolution, perhaps?PRAX,thanks!NITHYA,i shall perhaps keep the curiosity alove by keeping it a little secret 🙂 hugs right back kiddo!GAURI,thanks and warm wishes to you and your loved ones too.yes, i do hope the pen helps the mind :)ABS,thanks and warm wishes to you too.VEENA,thanks, and i shall be there right away!MUSH,warm hugs to all you people out there – did i tell you i love cold places?STARRY,lots of you guys wishing about the purple pen – lets hope moer goodness comes out of this little tavern :)thank you, and warm wishes to you too.HDWK,happy new year to you too :)LAKSHMI,few things can be more fulfilling than bringing a smile onto someone’s face – thank you for being here :)VAIDYA VAAKYA,the vacuum or the exhilarating feeling of fullness of the heart, depending on how we look at it, perhaps?

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