the strangest of events lead to the most profound observations at times. i wouldn’t call myself an introvert. i can, and do socialise, and yet, i am not the most extroverted person you’d find in a gathering. friends, i have had by the dozen, thank almighty. come to think of it, i do think our tendency of giving relationships a name, the need to define them within set parameters, the inherent tendency to brand them as friendship, love, acquaintance and what not, is quite unnecessary. how can we possibly attempt to define something so complex as a relationship between two human beings? and why should we, anyways? coming back to friends, well, i have had the privilege of knowing many people, and being fairly close to many of them. yet, when i look back, these have mostly been people who have been around for a fixed period of time. they come, and they go. it makes me wonder if this whole bit about friendship is overrated. and then again, there are some, who have been there for a while now. 22 years is a long time, considering a lifetime that hasn’t spanned much more than that. there are others, who don’t count by the span, but simply because i know they’re around, somewhere. the ones in college, for instance. we shared something describing which i may do injustice. it would suffice to say we were brothers, yet not of the same womb. we’re not in touch anymore – i’m pretty bad at that business. yet, when we do catch up – like i did with this guy, after 6 long years – i could feel that something. it wasn’t ease, for much had changed for the both of us, yet, it was that unspoken comfort of knowing.
in every ‘kind’ of friendship, i have taken and given, usually always the former more than the latter. and every co traveller that has crossed paths with me, has in some way contributed to shaping my thinking. everyone of them has filled my heart with love, has taught me, among other things, the art of companionship.
why do i talk of friendship now? that is because i just discovered that in all the two years of blogging, i have hardly spoken of my friends. is it because i tend to take people for granted? possibly, for my dad once told me that i am ruthless with people, that i tend to shun them when i please. i do – when i feel encroached upon, i quickly move away and hardly look back. do i move away, i am not sure. may be we have a specific role to play in each others lives and He somehow gets us to move on when the puzzle has been solved.
“The show is over”, as they say.
and yet, my good friends would know what they mean to mean to me, or so i hope, and that could be the reason for not writing about friends in general. save this one special fellow-bum-of-the-universe, whom i had the most fortuitous rendezvous with.
the meme says –
Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words given : family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like. Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better.
and that was how i got thinking about the key word ‘friend’ and what i had posted in relation to it.
being a lover, and to an extent, a follower of the sanatana dharma, i have been brought up to believe in vasudaiva kutumbakam, a phrase from one of the most ancient texts of unknown source, that means ‘the whole world is one family’. at times in a bummy sort of a way i keep wishing that were true, or that i could truly and wholy believe in it, but for the sake of this meme, i am reminded of this man – he was more a friend(there goes!) than family. and then there was another grandparent, from the other side of the family, who to me, has been the most beautiful woman – inside and out – that i have had the fortune to set my eyes upon.
talking about family, how can i fail to mention the woman, who often wonders “what one earth she was thinking about when she conceived me, that i turned out so completely mad”. she has made me what i am, not out of what she wanted – it wasn’t a carving or a moulding – but out of what i was destined to be, and through that very act, and has conveyed unknowingly that faith in me too. today, we have both grown and in a world that seems to be leaning towards bigger and better and more of everything, i still see her derive the very small pleasures she has always taught me to. and it makes me wonder, yet again, who the child really is. no wonder they say that people grow old and then start growing younger.
what remains is talking about ‘myself’, ‘my love’ and ‘anything i like’. i am essentially what this blog reflects. yet, i am not. in some ways, it could be that some of my posts are inspired by what i would really want to be. and so, the links posted here – though each speak of different things, are quite obviously reflective of me, and hence could also relate to the ‘myself’ bit.
the toughest bit is for me to take up the bit on ‘my love’. i’d say i love a lot of things and people, and life in general, and yet, i am pretty confused about what we all call love. for one, i know that i can be very difficult. i am not insensitive to love, i find love here, yet am tempted to believe it all a futile attempt, when i think of what is most over used four letter word, not counting the famous f word. i can recognize love, can even be intensely loving, yet refuse to be bound by the very same love.
and finally about the things i like. it is a hard choice to make there, but i am terribly fond of travel, specially if it involves riding the bike for days on end, i have – before i ever started blogging – but have never bothered to recount any of the trips here, save this small, yet eventful one. and then there is my uncanny knack of bumping into adventures – which i think comes with travel. and an open mind. thank god for that.
when i read it again, though the post itself seems desultory of sorts, i quite enjoyed doing the meme. to reflect on oneself can be quite enjoyable, and in this case, it was looking back at all that i had written at different points of time in this little journey in the blog world. thank you, for being with me, and my apologies for being so irregular.
now for the tagging part – i remember someone having said he never orphaned a tag, so he will be the first one.
i have a tag pending from her, and so now it’ll be interesting to see who goes first!
oh, and CM – humour me, please.
A man is a fool not to put everything he has, at any given moment, into what he is creating. You’re there now doing the thing on paper. You’re not killing the goose, you’re just producing an egg. So I don’t worry about inspiration, or anything like that. It’s a matter of just sitting down and working. I have never had the problem of a writing block. I’ve heard about it. I’ve felt reluctant to write on some days, for whole weeks, or sometimes even longer. I’d much rather go fishing, for example, or go sharpen pencils, or go swimming, or what not. But, later, coming back and reading what I have produced, I am unable to detect the difference between what came easily and when I had to sit down and say, “Well, now it’s writing time and now I’ll write.” There’s no difference on paper between the two.
– Frank Herbert