its that face. I know him, I can see him quite vividly, even at this very moment. he has been with me for ages now, and has this nasty tendency of showing up at all those dark phases of life.
do you have that face? you must know it, and god forbid you do, you’ll know when I say it isn’t easy. you know you’ll carry it with you forever. and that is quite a burden.
there are mostly trucks – of all sizes, and even trailers, carrying metallic objects of epic proportions. I think the rush is because most of these vehicles, would not be allowed to enter the city during the day. it is quite a sight, to see the highway teeming with monsters, at this time of the night. I don’t know what the time is, I don’t have a watch. yet another necessarily evil, called the mobile phone, I have switched off. and I have no intentions of switching it on, it doesn’t really matter what time it is. but my estimate is that it would be around 2 AM.
I am fidgeting into my pockets, and it’s the usual luck.
I find smoke, not lights. back in college, it was considered bad luck – you’d have to go looking for what you wanted, and you’d have to part with what you had. if not a smoke, a couple of drags for sure. college seems like another life now. I was a little inebriated, and wasn’t exactly walking on a straight line, I could see that myself. yet, i was conscious of walking on the highway, thank god for small mercies.
“we’re not closed”, he said. if anything indicated the presence of another man, it was this kid, sleeping on the pavement besides. he had a small push cart. the stove had been put off, yet was warm, confirming the man’s intentions of staying on a while, in wait of a few more customers.
I could light up, having wanted to light up in the middle of nowhere – considering the circumstances and the time of the night, I did indeed feel grateful.
“truckers, they usually stop, some of them”, he said.
I thanked him, and walked on, after all, I had a fairly long way to go.
“who with?”, he was asked.
“it doesn’t always have to be with somebody, I like myself too”, he had thought.
the ceiling fan, and its constant motion reminds me of the seemingly endless cycle. i wonder what it would be like, without electricity, and the whirring of the electrical appliance, affixed to the roof. I feel the mind numbing, the myriad thoughts slowing down, rather fading away into the farthest recesses of the mind.
I feel grateful, as the head touches the pillow.