i had mentioned it in my earlier post. i found it
i knew i’d find it though. it is on this piece of yellowing paper. four corners ripped off, for i had pulled the cello tape off. technically, an octagon-shaped piece of paper. i didn’t want to leave it back there, on the wall of my room, way back in college. i was vacating the room i had occupied, and the piece of paper, ( and the thought?), have travelled along, and was (were???) put away in some corner, until now.
‘Not to worry so much, not to be distraught and despairing because one has attained no certainty and is sure of nothing – nothing at all…To be content with uncertainty, content and happy with it, to choose it.
To choose unknowing and uncertainty…
To choose oneself as one is. To dare to be what one is, without self reproach’
– Par Lagerkvist, in Pilgrim at Sea
meanwhile, i continue to be grateful, among other things to my family. i do believe the family has a very important role, if not the most important, in shaping an individual’s thinking and behaviour, why, the personality itself.
i have enjoyed growing up, and in the process, also had the privilege to watch my parents grow up. the angry young man that i distinctly remember, and also have feared in the past, has given way to a sober, and of course, older(and even balder!) man. more on that later.
i received this message on my phone, in reply to an intimation that i had sent, that i had reached safely. it said –
Lightning visit makes the longing more.
It certainly did, no doubting that, and in the longing and this simple expression of longing, i had felt one of the deepest and most beautiful emotions.