women have always seemed elusive, atleast to the bum kinds. more so if its a so called ‘beautiful’ woman. so elusive they seem to the opposite sex, it has even prompted this ridiculously funny, yet seemingly logical explanation of the mammoth responsibility of the male kind to ensure the survival of the human race.
this particular lady in question though, she seems to take the whole idea of artifice to a new level. it is irrefutable that i am totally and completely drawn towards her, smitten by her beauty. have i then fallen in love, i wonder? for it is a fact that off late, i have been relentlessly pursuing her. and the pursuit doesn’t even seem anything in my control any longer. i don’t have a choice but to trail, and seek her, in every waking moment spent. why, she hasn’t even spared the sleep, for she seems to taunt me even in my dreams. such is the extent of her influence that i feel totally powerless. the effect is like some drug i’ve never done before, it is enchanting and most certainly enslaving.
if it all sounds like an exaggeration, you should only see her, experience her to believe what i say. she is doubtless most gorgeous, but what truly catches my fancy is the myriad ways in which she can make herself up, each the perfect manifestation of allurement. and there is something about the way she never fails to turn you on. this is no yarn i’m spinning. nobody, not anyone i know atleast, has ever managed to escape her spell. she will push you into believing that it is, ‘true love’.
and just when you fall for her, when you begin to believe she is your life breath, (yes, it is that classic hindi movie ‘main tumhare bina ek pal bhi saans nahin le sakta‘ thing), she turns away from you – just like that. as abrupt as the seeming thunderstorm on a hot summer afternoon that in reality only turns out to be a dust storm. you are expecting her to be with you, to be yours, and yet, you watch her slipping away oh so gently from your grasp. like the passing clouds. and you stare helplessly. you are yearning for the rain, craving for the much needed respite from the unrelenting heat, yet you know but to feel hopelessly helpless.
but then, one has to move on, isn’t it? and so you think you’ve learnt your lesson. never mind you learnt it the hard way, for as they say, life is a tough teacher! or so you con yourself into believing. i do atleast, and so i start finding ways and means of avoiding or escaping thoughts of her. ‘it’s my turn now’, my stupid inflated ego tells me, ‘and i’ll never once even look at her’. why, isn’t revenge always the sweetest thing to dish out?
so in spite of all the bitterness of her absence, you begin to believe that ‘life goes on’. you tell yourself its alright. you push yourself into believeing that you’ll manage and move on, no matter how badly you’ve been bruised. and just when you think you’ve learnt to get by without her, she is back. and with a bang – for her power over you this time seems to have increased many fold! you know it is the same woman who cheated you, made you feel like a nothing, left you absolutely miserable, yet you can’t help but succumb to her irresistible charm. no matter how hard you try, no matter how many ways you find of trying and avoiding you, she still gets you each time. deceit is her name. some also call her mAyA, and try however hard you may, you just can not escape her powerful grasp.