release me

women have always seemed elusive, atleast to the bum kinds. more so if its a so called ‘beautiful’ woman. so elusive they seem to the opposite sex, it has even prompted this ridiculously funny, yet seemingly logical explanation of the mammoth responsibility of the male kind to ensure the survival of the human race.

this particular lady in question though, she seems to take the whole idea of artifice to a new level. it is irrefutable that i am totally and completely drawn towards her, smitten by her beauty. have i then fallen in love, i wonder? for it is a fact that off late, i have been relentlessly pursuing her. and the pursuit doesn’t even seem anything in my control any longer. i don’t have a choice but to trail, and seek her, in every waking moment spent. why, she hasn’t even spared the sleep, for she seems to taunt me even in my dreams. such is the extent of her influence that i feel totally powerless. the effect is like some drug i’ve never done before, it is enchanting and most certainly enslaving.

if it all sounds like an exaggeration, you should only see her, experience her to believe what i say. she is doubtless most gorgeous, but what truly catches my fancy is the myriad ways in which she can make herself up, each the perfect manifestation of allurement. and there is something about the way she never fails to turn you on. this is no yarn i’m spinning. nobody, not anyone i know atleast, has ever managed to escape her spell. she will push you into believing that it is, ‘true love’.

and just when you fall for her, when you begin to believe she is your life breath, (yes, it is that classic hindi movie ‘main tumhare bina ek pal bhi saans nahin le sakta‘ thing), she turns away from you – just like that. as abrupt as the seeming thunderstorm on a hot summer afternoon that in reality only turns out to be a dust storm. you are expecting her to be with you, to be yours, and yet, you watch her slipping away oh so gently from your grasp. like the passing clouds. and you stare helplessly. you are yearning for the rain, craving for the much needed respite from the unrelenting heat, yet you know but to feel hopelessly helpless.

but then, one has to move on, isn’t it? and so you think you’ve learnt your lesson. never mind you learnt it the hard way, for as they say, life is a tough teacher! or so you con yourself into believing. i do atleast, and so i start finding ways and means of avoiding or escaping thoughts of her. ‘it’s my turn now’, my stupid inflated ego tells me, ‘and i’ll never once even look at her’. why, isn’t revenge always the sweetest thing to dish out?

so in spite of all the bitterness of her absence, you begin to believe that ‘life goes on’. you tell yourself its alright. you push yourself into believeing that you’ll manage and move on, no matter how badly you’ve been bruised. and just when you think you’ve learnt to get by without her, she is back. and with a bang – for her power over you this time seems to have increased many fold! you know it is the same woman who cheated you, made you feel like a nothing, left you absolutely miserable, yet you can’t help but succumb to her irresistible charm. no matter how hard you try, no matter how many ways you find of trying and avoiding you, she still gets you each time. deceit is her name. some also call her mAyA, and try however hard you may, you just can not escape her powerful grasp.

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27 thoughts on “release me

  1. Bro…I don’t know if this was a sad rant or just a cool post. Obsession is a weird weird thing. I know. You hate it but cannot be without it. In my experience, I find it best to let it run its course and see where it goes.Whatever happens good luck with Madam Maya.

  2. Another fantastic post from you Dharma πŸ™‚ I knew what you were talking about all along from the very first line of the post πŸ™‚ Its amazing how worldly pleasures take up so much of our time, pulse and life, but it all becomes so futile in the end (or much before the end for that matter). You nailed it bang on! :)And as you can see I cant stop smiling at how beautifully you’ve crafted the whole post along. πŸ™‚ Keep writing and I’ll keep smiling πŸ™‚

  3. wonderfully written…sometimes i think its a bit unfair that maya mithya all of them happen to be feminine.. ahh but what do i knowhehe=)

  4. β€œMy fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.”After all, you would need a good reason to call yourself dharma bum! :))

  5. aah, love attraction, infatuation makes us do strange things!your prose here is so beautiful, so poem like. i have wanted to say this to you many times, that u write very well, and here, you present one more piece of your way with words!u seem to have fallen in love, my friend! :)i just wish you all the best!

  6. I agree with Shankari – some things in life – best left un-analysed – some – like these.Yet, you do such things and it is such a pleasure to read! πŸ™‚

  7. I know how you feel, really. I get all consummed by infatuation. I’m not myself, I don’t sleep, I don’t feel like eating. hmm I love it, but it’s painful. And it also goes away sooner or later, so enjoy it while it lasts, even if this means suffering and obsessing and all that – it’s all part of the game. πŸ™‚

  8. So Maya it is…hehe good one. And its so true ha. But why r we so afraid of Maya? It’s part of life and as long as we dun overindulge in it why not just accept her?**’Are you a teacher?’ I mean, is that supposed to be romantic?” LOL haha pathetic!Keshi.

  9. not trying to trivialise, but you sound like someone from samajwadi party, who just lost the UP Elections… I thought they were the only folks currently cribbing about Maya :)if that post was anything more than a figment of your imagination, then face her and let her know what you feel like… btw, me thinks all this feminine bashing does no one good :)the link though was hilarious πŸ™‚ god bless you!!

  10. SHANKARI,need to overcome her akka, and the way is to surrender to Him :)ZEUS,thanks dude ;)MISS IYER,smart girl huh, u seem to have caught on ;)that is the kindest comment i’ve received in a while now. it is indeed a privilege to make someone smile πŸ™‚ thank you, miss. *hugs*ADITI,it is only a question of the language. in sanskrit – al words ending with the longer vowels – like maya, chaya – all happen to be feminine. it also intuitively rings a bell, for me atleast – don’t get into the meaning – just the way the word sounds, isn’t it very feminine?

  11. JUBIN,absolutely, brother! the names, was only inspired by the book. in reality, i only ought to call myself adharmabum :DTRINNIE,thank you so much, my dear friend. i am trying hard not to ‘fall’ in love, every waking moment of my life ;)VELU,yes, it is. thanks for dropping by and do come by more often.ATUL,coming from one of my personal favourite bloggers, and the most respected one, i shall take that as the biggest compliement ever received.thank you, brother! not sure about the un-analysed bit though. maya must be analysed, and overcome is what the bum thinks.DEVIL,hehe, so someone is/has been madly in love, huh?CHIYA,enjoyment is alright, but it sometimes becomes all consuming.ASH,thankooKESHI,not pathetic, babe. come on, have some pity on the poor male folk ok :Poh, and i am not afraid, just weary…need to keep reminding myself to get out of the rut someday.LIAMOV,welcome and thanks for droping by :)strange – i have never felt good being sought after. i’d rather be left alone more often than not.CARRIE,hey, welcome aboard!so u fell for it, huh! am kicked actually, coz not many ppl here seem to have even gotten at what i was trying to say.thanks and please do come by more often.ANNITYA,welcome and thanks for dropping in!there are two links – hope u read both of them.NANDITHA,thank you so much.do keep coming by – its a pleasure :)CM,ho ho, couldn’t stop laughing @ the political linkage. surprisingly, i had this too in mind while i was writing it.and nobody is doing any female bashing, lover boy πŸ˜›

  12. oh why r u trying not to fall in love, dharma? its a beautiful thing, love is…with a few dark shadows, but i guess that alright!yep u can link that blog, honey, just link it under the Nadine Kiyoshi name! u tried weed. wo! i wanna try at least something man! but the thing is i never know how to get stuff…wanna even try smoking some day! :Dexperiment experiment!

  13. TRINNIE,i guess it is beautiful, but i tend to get bored of it too soon, and so i fear it ;)u wil not believe how damn easy it is to procure it in india, but lemme not tell u. i’m the kinda person mom’s would ask their kids not to get into the company of :DSHEK,not sure if u got the point at all, but its ok.KESHI,yep! πŸ™‚

  14. Abstentation is harder when one has never indulged. Me says indulge in Maya. If it bites, shrink back and never again indulge. If it doesn’t, then lucky you!

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