blogging, love and life.

on many occasions while wondering about the purpose of this blog, i’ve noticed that among other things, it has ended up being a sort of a journal of mine. i shall, hopefully, be able to sit back someday and read my own posts and notice, hopefully a certain evolution of thought. for we aren’t human if we don’t evolve through our lifetime, are we? in that context, i am grateful to this blog itself. and to all the wonderful people i have met here – for u’ve all helped me evolve in your own unique ways.

the past week or so has been quite depressing, what with the newspapers being filled with the horrific events at virgina tech. as if iraq and other such ghastly news items were not enough. and in the midst of all this, i read this little piece of news. it appeared on one of the popular newspapers here and though i had actually missed reading it, my father had specifically mentioned it to me, also saying that my blogger friends might be interested in it too. i am grateful for such nice things – they instil the much needed hope in me.

there has been lots happening, both at work and otherwise. and for those of you wondering about the absence of activity here – its just that. not any block, thankfully! nor do i think i shall ever have a block of that kind. especially when i have my shots of whiskey for company. my gratitude again to those who have been asking me to post – ur encouragement is precious.

i’ve never been the kind who can love unconditionally. however much i try, my love seems to be limited by my thoughts. i tend to judge, and my love quite unfortunately is reserved only for those that i think are deserving of it. in that sense, i suppose i have a long way to go. about a week ago, i moved into a new home (after what seems like ages of thinking and planning) and i now have a companion. a month ago, we were strangers – she and i. she saw my ad (or rather a rant, if i could call it that) on sulekha and responded and here we are, sharing a roof, the two of us. it is quite different from what i had expected, for my housemate can be quite caring – from making me breakfast to making sure everything is alright from time to time. in that sense, she is an inspiration – for it isn’t easy for me to love so easily. and i am grateful for the new home, the housemate and everything else.

although my inability to post gratitude in the last few weeks has at times irked me, i’ve sort of accepted the change. not that i don’t want to post gratitude. it is, in my opinion, one of the most wortwhile things i have done and i shall be ever grateful to this blogger friend for inspiring me to start doing it in the first place. for now, i am blissfully absorbed in my work – a joy that i am just beginning to discover. why would i be at my workplace on a weekend otherwise?

there is this friend, who just says hello just at this moment(on google chat) and tries co convince me that it is wrong to work on a weekend coz i don’t get paid extra for it anyways. how can i convince her that there isn’t anything really right or wrong? and that the true reward of our work, imho, is in the process of working and now in the result? but then, i am grateful for such people – they show me how strong thoughts and perceptions can be and teach me to be more open minded and accepting of others’ views. i am also, in a way also grateful at my inability to convince her otherwise. for if everybody thought the same way, this world qould be quite a boring place, wouldn’t it? like right now, how she is trying to convince me how wrong i am!

i got this message on SMS, among the dozen other pointless jokes, riddles and other such mindless stuff! i received from a friend of mine. this fellow was actually, at one point, my student and still continues to keep in touch –

‘laziness, meanness and hypocricy have covered the length and breadth of this country. can an intelligent person look at all this and remain quiet? let us start working!’

at a time when just about everybody in this country seems to be complaining about how everything is wrong, but not ONE person talks of what can be DONE, i am grateful for such inspiration, coming from a young mind as this.

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21 thoughts on “blogging, love and life.

  1. as u mentioned in mine,blogs are getting more and more persona and I for myself see no harm in that.a frnd once was very pissed off of wht i wrote in my blog and i delted it.then i thought to myself “hey it is my blog and i can write what i want”.and yes,if i look back at the entries they help me wonder how life has cnahged…p.s love you ,i love sayin that and happy housewarmin and more and more loves to your housemate…

  2. You are right about blogs, they contribute a great deal towards one’s personal development…but then, like all writing, even in blogs, don’t we run the risk of just writing for the audience (to secure their acceptance, approval, and attention)?PS – That article is really beautiful, especially lines such as “Freed from expectations, it proves ‘seeing’ is as much touching and hearing.” and “I used sound to base my judgment, my heart to capture the silence and mind to seize the moment.”

  3. “i’ve never been the kind who can love unconditionally. however much i try, my love seems to be limited by my thoughts. i tend to judge, and my love quite unfortunately is reserved only for those that i think are deserving of it.”You seem be my twin soul… I tend to do this too… I think it takes great people to love unconditionally and without any expectations.

  4. I’m grateful for my blog too (and urs):) and I’m glad you took time out to write your gratitude on a weekend 🙂 and Oh, you finally got urself a roommate, just when you were beginning to lose hope on Sulekha? 😛

  5. Your posts are getting more and more introspective.. and don’t worry.. most of us learn how to love unconditionally along the way. You’re just lucky to have someone who can teach you.

  6. SOPHIE,i like ur blog name better u know!ur an absolute sweetheart – always spreading love wherever u go. and i love u too. *hugs*DEVIL,something like that, yes.ADITI,i’m glad too.DEEPTHI,no harm in blogs getting personal, as long as its about the owner – least we get personal about the others and they get pissed off!love u too – though i don’t love saying it to much 😛 and wil pass on ur love to de mate! thanks.

  7. GAYATHRI,the risk is clearly present and i would say, also quite dangerous in that it may tend to dilute the writers intent. but then, it depends on the intent of the blog itself – i believe (atleast from the few blogs i’ve read and tried to understand) that there are some who write purely for the sake for acceptance and attention from others – in which case, it wouldn’t be wrong.glad u read the article. u seem to be one of the few people who mentions it in the comment atleast! i felt so proud of such spurts of goodness that i had to share it with all u wonderful people! thanks :)ASH,if u read the previous comment – ur the second one. in fact, u were one of the people that immediately came to my mind when i posted the link – really wanted u to read it and am glad u did! thank you.KESHI,it depends on what we call ‘true’ love. to make it simple, i’ll put it this way – i have hardly experienced unconditional love – i mean in the truest sense – with absolutely no expectations. i think it is beyond ordinary people. it is the highest stage in evolution and very few people get there. and those who do get there, don’t talk about it :)VASU,well said vasu – it certainly takes greatness. in fact, it takes more than just that, methinks. it probably takes a profound realization of the unity in things and beings.don’t worry my dear twin – the fact that we have identified it is the first step taken in thsi journey of love and am sure we’ll all get there in time :)KESHI,checked na. and replied too. thanks :)MISS I,ya, just when i was beginning to lose hope, and believe me when i tell u its one hell of an adventure ;)CHITRA,u r very kind. my words r usually empty – the fact that u see kindness in them only speaks much of u.this is the most beautiful blessing i’ve received in recent times, thank you. there r great aspirations – not ambitions – but with regard to whats within, and in that context, i do hope the love blossoms so that the dharmabum can love truly and absolutely, and most importantly – very inclusively.i don’t suppose things will be better, but i do hope YOU are better now. take care and thanks!HDWK,yes, thats something i did notice too. which to me would be a very nice thing.and no, i don’t believe most people learn true love aong the way – not in a lifetime atleast. else there wouldn’t be so much wallowing in self pity, and such kind of (what i term as) desperate beggary to be loved 🙂 regarding the ones who can teach us – they’re mostly dead and gone, but its their sublime presence that i bank on. and prayer :)SUPERNOVA,welcome back!yes, thats honest – i feel that way too. but i know that i WANT it to be devoid of condition and expectation – and will keep working towards it. 🙂

  8. Wow I loved that article about the blind people..it was quite a revelation!Housemate 🙂 that’s really nice .. congrats!about unconditional love…why should love be unconditional..somehow that phrase reeks of falsity…I dont know anybody who can love unconditionally…and why would you want to…you love somebody for their qualities…And if you dont love somebody for their qualities (and that is unconditionally), then what are you loving them for?? Beats me!

  9. HITCHHIKER,thank you – glad u enjoyed the article.u have raised very interesting questions. i would like to believe that we don’t love people FOR this or that reason. we love, period. take someone very close to u – u might love them for so many reasons, but u still might not like things about them – does that, in any way reduce ur love for them?also, just coz we don’t know people who can love that way doesn’t mean it is not done at all.u have prompted me to write a post. time is right now proving to be a big constraint, especially if i have to sit and think and write. but will do it someday for sure!interesting discussion – thanks again :)KESHI,bingo!VESPER,that is so nice of u – thank u very much. and lotsa luck to u too 🙂

  10. I read this blog and read it again and then… read it once again… there are multiple layers of veracity in this blog alone… every time I read it, the meaning it imparts is leading me onto something diverse… is this chance or choice… and I definitely didn’t understand the sulekha part??Though I totally agree with you on one thing… blogging undeniably help us evolve… evolve into better human beings at that… god bless you!!!

  11. CM,wow – thats such a profound comment. or is it just a polished way of saying ‘dharma, you r so muddled in the head it shows on your posts too!’ :)about sulekha – well, i had posted an ad for a housemate sometime back and after what seemed like ages, found an appropriate enough response 🙂

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