normally abnormal or abnormally normal?

i’ve two tags to complete, and i’ll take them in chronological order. it was quite a while back that my friend supernova had tagged me, through this post of hers.

i’ve to write listing 6 weird things about me, or even some of the weird experiences i have had. although i’ve read quite a few bloggers doing this meme, i’ve never really found anything weird, abnormal or unnatural. i wonder if that says anything about me, or the posts i’ve read and their authors. so right now, i’m going to talk about a few things that i think are a lil weird. some of them might sound a lil uncivilsed, or even just plain obnoxious, so don’t tell me i didn’t warn you folks!

1. i was a regular at bed wetting. everybody is, you might be thinking. i used to do it, unfailingly, almost EVERY night, till i was around 15 years old.

my folks had this rubber sheet spread under my bed cover. and since i also have this uncanny knack of re oreienting and re positioning myself a zillion times through my sleep, this rubber sheet practically spanned the entire bloody cot! so i’d be very careful about not letting any of my friends into my bedroom, least they discover.

we even tried umpteen number of medicinal and non-medicinal cures, including the once when i was taken to a nearby mosque to be ‘exorcised’ by the priest there. nothing seemed to work. it doesn’t happen any more, thankfully. sometime when i was in class 10, it stopped. all by itself.

2. i don’t use a nail clipper – i chew my nails off. including the ones on my toes. don’t grimace – i make sure to wash my feet before! if u’re still wondering how i do it – try some yogic postures, it helps.

3. i can be very nice to people. i can also be extremely obnoxious, even nasty. in fact, more often than not, i vacillate between the two extremes.

4. i like to endure. sometimes, i inflict pain upon myself. it isn’t very gross stuff like cutting myself and so on. but i like to starve every now and then, push myself to see how long i can go without food. or take abnormally long walks, or put myself through other such physically exhausting activities – i like the painful pleasure that results.

5. i abhor underwear. although i force myself to use them at times, i find them extremely uncomfortable. in fact, i’d rank briefs as among the worst things invented by man 🙂

6. this is probably one of the weirdest incidents that has happened to me.

i was, if i remember right, 11, maybe 12 years old. me and my friend, we went to the beach, knowing well that going to the seaside without adult supervision was not only dangerous, but also strictly prohibited by the parents. so we sneaked away stealthily, and couldn’t wait to get into the water.

the beach in pondicherry isn’t really one – i mean, there is this road – its like a beautiful beachside avenue, some rocks which act like a barricade of sorts and then its the sea – not much sand. so we quickly found our spot (the one with a tiny patch of sand – it doesn’t exist any longer), stripped and for the next couple of hours, blissfully splashed around in the cool water under the hot sun. only, when we got back, we figured that my shorts were missing. there was just this guy lurking around in the afternoon sun, and swore he hadn’t seen a thing.

my friend was a smart aleck, and wouldn’t give up. he suggested that we walk away casually, but get back in a while and investigate. so here i was, parading up and down the beach road in pondicherry. in my underwear. luckily for me, i hadn’t started detesting underwear so much then, so i had atleast my briefs on 🙂

about an hour later, we caught the guy sneaking back to the same spot, and pick up something from under the rocks. my shorts!! my pockets had some money, chocolates and i don’t remember what else. he was caught red-handed, and i could go back home fully dressed. that avoided a volley of questions from parents and i don’t think they know about this incident until this day ;o)

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“I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.”
– Steven Wright

For more such hilarious statements by Steven Wright, go here