i am

completely physically exhausted at this moment.

i am also grateful for –

1) my faith in god and myself, for i have broken my self imposed stint of abstinence earlier than i was supposed to. since it has a religious connotation attached to it, it would normally be taken for blasphemy! as for me, i stand in front of Him, naked and without shame, for i know that come what may, i still will keep trying!

2) my first few marketing calls. i had to take them coz some of the sales guys suddenly quit. and since i like experimenting and doing different things, i was put on the job. so thats another thanks to my boss for giving me the opportunity.

3) the blind man i met in the local train yesterday, who was selling stuff like wallets, pens and so on. and the other blind man in the SAME train at almost the SAME time, who was begging. they showed me contrasting viewpoints in life.

4) being able to leave for home relatively early today. i need to sit back, unwind and be with myself.

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26 thoughts on “i am

  1. *Smiles*I like your gratitude posts :)Did u buy something from the blind man? I remember Aditi posted something few weeks back about a women who was selling incense for living and not begging.Its always nice to be yourself once in a while :)Stay Beautiful…!

  2. I love contrasting glimpses of life – the beauty andpuzzle of a …kaleidescope(sorry for my terrible spelling:(you would go crazy if I livednearby – I would knock on yourdoor and make you bike over toa bookshop and then out for tea:)no peace alone to be by yourself!!(he-he)

  3. yup.and my funny father always shuts at them for selling things in an already crowded place and making it even more congested.I feel happy for them that they are able to work inspite of their handicap.One need not buy things from them,but one need not shoo them away like dogs.We in India are not born with social security numbers.so its better to do at least some work rather than beg.Shame on those who cannot respect such human beings who have the gut to work in spite of such problems.If I was in their place Wonder if I would have the courage to even think of self respect.

  4. This is about your post on biking. Wow! sounds like a lot of fun…the Uttaranchal trip must’ve been fantastic! I always wanted to go on bike trips myself, but didn’t get the opportunity, apart from a few 150-km trips.

  5. so you like harry belafonte huh? interesting..you don’t meet too many people these days who know who harry belafonte is. thanks for stopping by and hopefully you’ll keep coming back! :)Lisa

  6. TKKEROUAC,thats the funniest comment i’ve had. it made me laugh so much that i must thank u lot!ADITI,hear hear!well said, dear friend!DEVIL,i’d never done it before, but i must admit, i didn’t really enjoy it so much either :(i don’t find dishwashing exactly enticing either, bu twouldn’t mind doing it if i had to!SHANKARI,staying 🙂

  7. SUGAR,glad u like them. and glad u keep dropping by and saying all good things :)stay beautiful!SOPHIE,u got EXACTLY what i had in mind, my dear friend, i wanted to present a glimpse of that contrast we see arouns us.i’m lously at spelling too. and with the internet, and MS Word, my guess is i’m only getting worse at it :(to be honest, i might just go crazy. but if its to have a cuppa, or read a book with u sophie, going crazy would well be worth it, methinks*hugs*MYSTIC,prayer is the only solace amidst all the chaos.

  8. KESHI,eggjactly :)ANON,father seems funny coz he think differently from us, probably, coz i’m sure he would be able to perfectly justify his viewpoint.honestly – if i were in their position though, i’d definitely NOT think of self respect and all that :)SADHANA,uttaranchal is enchanting, they call it ‘devbhumi’ and claim that even the wild animals do not attack us.LISA,was introduced to belafonte by my father who enjoys his music. when i started listening, i kinda liked the simlpicity and the humour!thanks for dropping by!

  9. Make it a habit to reach home early and spend with you family. sorry! Was too occupied, couldnt be regular with your blog. shall read it and post comment in all that i have missed.

  10. :-O Marketing calls? And you’re greatful for it? I dont believe this!What did u … land from another planet? PHUULEEASE… Dont tell me you’re actually glad to do that 😐

  11. one shud not really care abt blasphemy and religious connotataions and society too much…i guess ur faith in ur self is all that matters! and saying the truth to one’s own self!

  12. STARRY,thanks to u too – will be seeing u around ;o)CHITRA,i was actually missing all ur comments u know. and wnodering why u hadn’t posted either. glad u r back though!reg ur comment – rite now, the only family is mom n dad, and they don’t live with me. ASH,thanks!

  13. MISS I,different planet? i don’t think so.marketing calls can get mundane, i agree. but i am trying to sell a concept, something i truly believe in. and it is only in the utilisation of the concept lies its true success, and hence our satisfaction. so its like this – i go out, talk about it – and drop it, for ultimately, to buy ornot to buy isn’t entirely my prerogative, but my clients’ :)also, i look at it this way – someone has to do some job or the other right? ever looked at the guys who clear garbage from our homes? i have this guy – he comes on a cart, bell ringing every morning, and stops by each household, collecting all our rubbish. if he didn’t wanna do it, we’d be drowned in so much rubbsh, can u imagine?i don’t believe anything is really boring, as long as i can do it well, and do it differently.sari faar lecture meydum 🙂

  14. “one shud not really care abt blasphemy and religious connotataions and society too much…i guess ur faith in ur self is all that matters! and saying the truth to one’s own self!”That is the excuse we weaklings have for our doing unhealthy things,me including. I,for one,am very disappointed,that even this time the decision did not stand. God give me strength to bear all this.Your spellings are becoming awful,and I think it is due to overwork,inadequate rest,alcohol,tobacco and jitteriness. I dont think I need to tell you about calming of mind.

  15. poppy dear,i am not a bungling alchoholic (though the idea is quite fascinating, atleast the initial look of it) – lets get that straight.also, i did not give any excuses. i did what i did, and i do not feel guilty about it.my spellings have always been awful – i remember that even from childhood, u used to point out errors. if there are one too many in my posts, its because although writing has become interesting off late, i stil don’t get paid for it. so i write most of my posts in a GREAT hurry. it is not because of the possible factors u have attributed. as to calming the mind, few can know it betetr than me, coz i have the most monstrous mind and u know it. i am also at it – attempting everyday to work at it and not give up.i suggest u stop visiting this blog, as it only makes u more upset – something u needn’t be, imho. like they say sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

  16. “coz i have the most monstrous mind and u know it. i am also at it – attempting everyday to work at it and not give up.”Am I glad to know that?”i do not feel guilty about it.”It is not meant to make you feel guilty.”i suggest u stop visiting this blog, as it only makes u more upset – something u needn’t be, imho. like they say sometimes, ignorance is bliss.”Suggestion well taken.To all bum’s friends on the blog,sorry you had to listen to the whining of his old man. I realise this is not the appropriate place for this private conversation.And to the bum: I am not giving up hoping!!!

  17. pa,this sure is getting private, but i’ve seen some private conversations that have made my jaws drop :-Omroeover, am sure someone wil have a lesson or two to learn from these conversations.finally, it is the ur unwavering presence that has, and will be my greatest source of strength and confidence.

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